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Tuesday 17 April 2012

The Worst Things About Living With People

At some point in our lives, we have all lived with someone else whether it be with some mates at uni, a flatshare until you can afford your own place, or a significant other. It starts off great. Everyone's a little bit nervous, trying to make sure that they're being considerate and trying to make a good impression as The Awesome Housemate. As time goes on, people begin to get lazy. You know each other's good and bad points by now, you know each other well enough to talk about poos and pubes and you know not to speak until everyone's had their coffee fix.

And that's when things go drastically wrong.

1. The Transition

At university, the 'done thing' is to search for a house by January of your first year. You have to choose the people you live with out of a bunch of guys and girls you've only known for a couple of months. It often takes a while for everyone to decide on a good number of people, all girls, all guys and, most importantly, what house. It's a stressful process, and you end up living with people that, in reality, you barely know and the truth is, it can go either way. A person you barely knew could turn out to be your favouritest drinking buddy a few months down the line, and the guy you were dreading living with because he looked dirty might be the cleanest one of all. Unfortunately, it can also turn out for the worst: someone you thought would be your BFF forever might end up rubbing you the wrong way - how were you supposed to know they only shower at two in the morning? The transition from acquaintance to friend is never quicker when you're forced into the same living space as another person, but remember; the opposite is also true.

2. Clean Freaks and Freaks of Nature
"Look, I appreciate you cleaning, but could you at least wear pants?"
Picture this: You wake up in the morning, go downstairs and, lo and behold, the dishwasher is emptied, the surfaces are clean and there is a fresh bottle of washing up liquid next to the sink. The kitchen fairy? No, it's that clean housemate of yours, and she expects some appreciation. It's a lesson to be learned that the person who puts the most effort in to make the house nice for everyone is often taken for granted. Help out once in a while because while there is The Clean Housemate, there is also The Dirty Housemate, and no one wants that label. Clean freaks are one thing, but there are also just plain freaks. Y'know, the guy that smells his plate before he uses it, the girl that has forgotten the meaning of the word 'vegetable' and let's not forget the dude that likes to sit in the dark in the kitchen in the middle of the night when you go to get a drink of water. They may be nuts, but freakish people can be absolute gems, and if they aren't... Well, your contract runs out soon, doesn't it?

3. The Good, The Bad and the Dirty

They say that you never know someone until you live with them, which is why you may be in for a few shocks when you say "I do" to moving in with anybody. Living in a group is difficult as there are people that you get on with and people that you don't for reasons that can be simply put down to a personality clash. The best thing about living in a group is that there is always someone that you can depend on; that person who is always up for chat, will drop everything to split a bottle of wine during times of need, and that will never, ever spill your secrets. Then there is that person who is infallibly fun, the one whose first priority is having a laugh and who always has a smile on their face. However, living in a group means there is always a risk that you'll end up living with someone that can be dirty, inconsiderate, that steals your butter or worse - someone that watches Stars Dancing With The Voice On Ice Factor every. single. night. Whatever rubs you up the wrong way, there is a positive for every negative and just as people you love have bad points, the people that grate you have good points and it's up to you to find them.

4. The Extra Housemate

"If you gave me a chance, we could be friends too. Now turn around and show me your ass."
So you've signed your contract, you're living with three great people and it all seems to be working out. Then it hits you: there's a fourth one. Like Roger from American Dad, you don't know where they came from, but suddenly, they are everywhere. Waking you up to go to the loo at 5am like clockwork. Cooking the smelliest, messiest meals that requires the entire kitchen. Sitting in the living room watching Match of the Day. More often than not, The Extra Housemate is a girlfriend or boyfriend of someone that you're living with, or it could be someone's best friend from home that happens to adore uni life, or it could even be a good mutual friend that has simply settled in a little too well. It doesn't matter how nice these people are, it doesn't matter if they leave a scent of the nicest perfume everywhere they go and it doesn't matter if they help take out the bins. The point is, you have not signed up to live with them, and it feels unfair that there's another person around the house that has permanently changed the house dynamic. What you need to remember is, be this person a significant other or friend of your housemate, this extra person is making your housemate happy.

5. Bite Your Tongue

The most important thing in any relationship is communication. Talking about things can really help to sort things out, clear the air and always results in understanding, if not anything else. Not with housemates. Of course, there are certain things that need to be talked about, like if someone's having a tough time, to sort out the cleaning rota and to gossip about last night's antics. Issues, problems or dislike of your housemates should never, ever be discussed. To tell someone that you have a problem with their behaviour or simply their personality could never solve anything. Confrontation leads to conflict, and while conflict can be a good thing in almost all other situations, it is different when you live with someone. Screaming and shouting may feel good at the time, but then you have to pass each other on the stairs, see each other at dinner and awkwardly pass each other the remote. Not only is this an extremely uncomfortable situation for you, it makes things tense for all your other housemates and creates a horrible atmosphere in a house where you all have to coexist. So breathe deep, get a drink, slap a smile on your face and try not to snap. What's the worst that can happen?

As for me, I have things that get on my nerves to the point of excessive drinking, but my housemates are golden and I wouldn't trade them in for the world. None of us are perfect, and I know for sure that I am not the ideal housemate. I forget to do the washing up just like the next person, I sometimes sing myself to sleep, I'm often irritable, I've got a weird thing about toilets, and my boyfriend's coming over in a minute. We're making fish for dinner.

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Samantha Brick: Maybe you're just a bitch?





If you hadn't heard of journalist Samantha Brick before last week, you certainly have now.

Samantha Brick as caused a two day storm on Twitter, after she wrote an article on the Daily Mail entitiled: 'Why do women hate me for being beautiful?'. Since her article went online, she received 5,000 comments and gained the Daily Mail 1.5 million hits to their website. Impressive.

But why has it got people so riled up?

Firstly, it is critical that we look at the offending subject matter: Brick's beauty.

"I'm not smug." Really? Really?!



Now Samantha Brick is not an unattractive lady. Her airbrushed photograph reveals perfectly highlighted blonde hair, groomed nails and a simple complection that makes her a particularly unoffensive sight for the eyes. In fact, I bet thousands of men are really into that over-the-hill school teacher simplicity. But beautiful, she is not. Now I could sit here for hours and try to define beauty, or I could point out some of the universally considered beauties of the day. So I'm gonna go with the latter, because I'm lazy as shit.

The sexy and smouldering Angelina Jolie. The cute-as-a-button Zooey Deschanel. The blonde bombshell that is Scarlett Johansen. These woman can be labelled as 'beautiful'. In fact, they are labelled as beautiful every single day. But, now here is the ever so crucial difference; they have never labelled themselves as beautiful. And that's what everyone is so pissed off about.


Samantha Brick herself realised in the article that she was "no Elle McPherson" but nevertheless claimed to be so beautiful that her looks have affected her career, her relationships and her social life. What she seems to be missing is that no one, not even her idol Elle McPherson is that beautiful.


Even comapnies and celebrities are jumping on the bandwagon.

Samantha Brick claimed that people would stop on the street to admire her beauty. Not only that, they would then go and buy flowers for her, buy her champagne and even train tickets, that's how beautiful she (says she) is. Most hilariously of all, she now comes to expect this kind of behaviour wherever she goes and takes random acts of kindness as a token to her beauty. After a airline captain sent over a bottle of champagne on a flight, she writes, "While it was lovely, it wasn't a surprise. At least, not for me."

But the article wasn't about how beautiful she is. It was about the dark side to beauty, and how her godforsaken looks nearly ruined her life. No, not rape. No, not human trafficking either. Erm, no, not eating disorders. Shit, this is getting a little embarrasing now. No, it's not to do with mental issues either, though I suppose that it debatable. Yes, you've got it! Her beauty caused no significant life problems whatsoever.

Samantha Brick details how she was prevented from climbing the career ladder because her female boss was jealous of her undeniable beauty. Another boss told her that her dress sense was "too distracting" for her colleagues, forcing her to don unflattering pant suits. She talks about how her friends would turn to ice whenever she was around their husbands. But why, oh why, can't she see that this has nothing to do with looks?

Since the internet has turned against her, Samantha Brick has written a comeback story, saying that the reaction has "proved" the fact that people hate her because she is beautiful. What's more, she is now trying to write the reaction off as "a gender issue". No one hates Samantha Brick because she is beautiful, I think that is clear to see. In fact, no one really hates Samantha Brick. Mostly people are a little embarrassed for her and the rest find it absolutely hilarious that someone has turned around, in real life and written online on the Daily (bloody) Mail: "Don't hate on me for being really, really, ridiculously good-looking."


She may be very hurt by the comments people have made about her, but it seems that she still doesn't understand that no one thought she was particularly ugly before that article, but stating that you are beautiful inevitably brings critique.

Samantha Brick has been deluded into thinking that it is her beauty that has resulted in women "hating" her. If it has been universally aknowledged that she is simply not that pretty, then what else could it be? After pondering this for quite some time I have come to this astounding and somewhat revolutionary conclusion: Maybe she's just a bitch.