For the Girls: Valentine's Gift Guide

Girls are very simple to buy for on Valentine's Day, chocolates etc. - so you're sorted, right?

WRONG.

Let me tell you a story. A girl I once lived with received a gift from her boyfriend. It was a simple silver necklace with a delicate heart on it. It was very sweet, it was very lovely - it was very boring. What added to the problem, was the girl in question was very particular in her sense of style. She was the type of girl that had yak's wool wrist warmers, a leather jacket before they became a "thing" and all the most colourful types of scarves you can imagine. Her jewellery was always a statement, and whenever you'd ask "where did you get that?" the answer would be along the lines of "from a shop in Kenya," or "from a market in Barcelona". So a simple heart necklace that was pretty, but not unique, was not up her street. Still, she wore it loyally until they broke up a few months later.

The moral to this cautionary tale is: confectionery, champagne, jewellery and flowers are all okay if you put some thought into the specifics. Had this sweet boy bought my old housemate a one-of-a-kind pendant that he found at a teeny stall at Portabello Market, and some gluten free chocolate cake, he would have been onto a winner.

So let's get to it. I have constructed a gift guide to suit every kind of woman, so you're bond to find something for your beloved, even if there is *gulp* a week to go.

1. Red Lipstick

You girlfriend is: A power woman. She spends her weeks working late, and weekday evenings going to bars with friends after work before running home to you, somehow still looking fabulous.


Make a classic addition to her make up bag, and buy her a lipstick You can't go wrong with red, and you can't go wrong with NARS. This particular shade, is the type that suits blondes and brunettes, and all skin tones, and at just £19.50, isn't going to break the bank. And just in case it isn't to her taste, get a gift receipt so she can treat herself to a different shade instead!

2. A Personalised Hamper

And sure, some twigs, if she's
that way inclined.

Your girlfriend is: indecisive. Between the hours of 6pm and 9pm on Friday night, she will have made four different plans, and you're never sure which one she'll go to. You always decide where to go to dinner because if you don't, you wouldn't have eaten since November.

Perhaps a little more effort than most gifts, but relatively easy to put together. You will need: her favourite wine, Hummingbird cupcakes, a USB with a playlist of some of her favourite songs, a DVD of a film you meant to go and see in the cinema but never got around to and big box to put it all in. Presented nicely, it's got the items that most girls would like individually, but would adore all put together.

3. A Come Together Box

Your girlfriend is: a cheeky minx. When you're out with friends, she'll give you that look, and you know immediately it's time to leave. At Sunday lunch with her parents, she'll stroke your knee under the table suggestively. And when you're alone... let's just say it wouldn't be wise to disturb you.

Now this is something you both can enjoy - and give money to charity! The charity, Unity, has launched a scheme, so when people make a donation of £20 to AIDS Alliance to help fight for safer sex for people all over the world, they’ll be sent a very special thank you: the Come Together Box. Included in the Come Together Box is:
- An exquisitely soft blindfold. No peeking!
- A luxury feather tickler – perfect for stimulating sensitive areas
- ID Glide lubricant to discover electrifying pleasure
- Sensuous game cards to add a touch of spice – from wicked foreplay to earth-shuddering climax
- Of course every box also includes a clear-looking, natural-feeling Skins condom – because the best kind of sex is safe sex.

Doing good has never felt like this before.

4. A Paper Rose


Your girlfriend is: a book worm. She reads all the time, and manages to do things like cook when she's engrossed in a bit of Jane Austen. That's not to say she's a loser, she loves to have a time in the pub like everyone else.

Flowers may be a little typical (not to mention double the price at this time of year) but there is no way your girlfriend won't love this literary paper rose. Not only will this show you care, it will last forever just like your relationship. Or if you dump her, a paper flower will be very satisfying to set alight along with pictures of you and your favourite jumper.

5. A Night Under the Stars

Your girlfriend is: a busy body. When she's not working in her creative job, she's travelling the world, going to the latest gallery openings and visiting the hottest new dinner spot. She probably thinks Valentine's is bullshit anyway, but you have to try, right?


Sorry to tell you, an item probably isn't going to cut it with this particular lady. Unless it's handmade, personalised or really fucking thoughtful. But I can't help you there. The advice I can give you is that doing something on Valentine's Day would be the operative word here. Something like visiting the Royal Observatory to see the stars, or simply setting up a picnic in a park would be much appreciated. Or if you're seriously loaded, a last minute trip to somewhere cold and fabulous like Copenhagen would sit very well with this special lady.

Hope this helps at least someone out there - and Happy Valentine's!

Five Signs You're About to Get Dumped

1. "Work is crazy."

A clear sign that things aren't going particularly well with your partner is when, suddenly, work is all they care about. You remember when you first started dating, work was just a weekday inconvenience that prevented you from spending every second together, and you would both be clock watching for 5:30 when you could shoot onto the tube and meet for a dinner that lasted hours.

Those days seem to have ended, and rather abruptly. You're not quite sure how it happened, but suddenly your other half is very concerned about getting that promotion and, apparently, you have "no idea" how much pressure they are under. Three hour dinners have been replaced by ready meals and shit TV while sex, well, let's just say it's been put on the back burner as your partner has a really early start tomorrow. And late a finish. Is it any wonder they're too tired for romance?

2. "Sorry, I can't."

In an effort to rekindle the fire that once was, you make an extra effort to send through some witty articles, suggest things to do on the weekend and even think ahead to the summer and forward on some particularly good holiday deals. What messages would have been met with appreciation, or at the very least a "lol", are for the most part ignored, or else shot down effortlessly.

You discover your partner is actually a very busy person. And, for one that doesn't plan ahead, they have made several unmovable plans and "I promised so-and-so we would so something"s without you knowing. On top of all that, despite the extra hours they've been putting at work, your partner is inexplicably broke. And without any free time or money, how can you expect them to be able to do anything with you?

3. "What message?"

You move into a different stage of "almost dumped" when getting ignored progresses to your partners' full on denial of the receipt of any of your messages. You've accepted that a YouTube video of a panda waving may not warrant a response every time, but when you ask whether they have plans this evening, or ask advice on some tax thing you don't understand, and finally ask "what's the matter?" and don't receive a response to any of these questions, alarm bells start to ring.

You finally ask face-to-face why they haven't been responding to your messages and you're met with a wide-eyed look of innocence as they say, "what messages?". Obviously there was something wrong with the Vodafone network this morning, and there have been issues with the latest iPhone software, and are you really sure you sent the message to begin with? Yeah, that's right. Take a long hard look at yourself.

4. "How have I been weird?"

A couple of things have been a little... off lately with your relationship. You can't quite put your finger on it, but it's about time to take it up with your other half. You sit down, calmly, and explain that things have been a little strange, and you're starting to wonder why. The explanations of work being crazy, being booked up with plans with friends, being broke, and not receiving your messages are briefly discussed and you sigh impatiently.

They throw up their hands, and ask you with a bewildered expression how you think they have been acting weird. You might have asked why they've been walking around wearing a scuba suit, smoking a pipe, all the while carrying around a fat, ginger cat. The reaction seems a little disproportionate to the question. And of course, because there has been no scuba suit/pipe/ginger cat, it's a little difficult to put into words how exactly they have been acting weird. How can one describe "weird" anyway?

5. "I promise, when things die down..."

That's it. You've had enough of the excuses and you sit down with your other half and ask what the fuck is going on.

Your partner's face changes. They touch your hand and admit (finally!) that things have been a little strange lately. What's more, they promise that they're going to make it up to you. That band you've been wanting to see? They're going to book tickets. That restaurant you've been meaning to try out? They're taking you next week. And on top of all of that, they throw in the suggestion of going on a mini-break, to "get back to us". We all know a mini-break means true love, so what are you worrying about?

Yeah, sorry dude, you're about to get dumped. Grab the cat and go.

Love of your life? You'll probably meet online

Dating website eHarmony will today reveal that from the year 2031, it’ll be more likely that you’ll meet a partner online than offline. 'The Future of Dating report,' commissioned by eHarmony.co.uk and compiled by The Future Foundation, reveals that from the year 2031 over 50% of couples will meet online.

Note: Generally leaving sweets on your keyboard makes it sticky
and prompts awkward questions as a result.

Of these, 38% will be via an online dating or matchmaking service (up from 17% today) and a further 12% will have their first meeting through other types of dating website. And by 2040, seven in 10 relationships will be able to attribute their coming-together to either online dating or online communication. As well as impacting on our personal lives, this is estimated to have a significant impact on the UK economy, contributing more than £256 million of consumer spending by 2030 – a real terms increase of 81% compared to today. 

Couples from the South East (22%) and East of England (20%) are the most likely to have met one another online, while the fastest expected growth in online dating by 2030 will be in London. Over the past decade internet access among UK 18-64s has more than doubled, from 43% in 2003 to 88% today, yet over the same period the proportion of couples finding love online has more than trebled and has continued to grow strongly since 2008.

Other significant factors behind the trend include the growth in smartphone usage, which makes online dating the easiest and most efficient way to meet a partner, with users able to review and communicate with matches at anytime from anywhere. More than half of online daters (52%) now use a smartphone to interact with their online dating service, and one in three use a tablet computer. Emotionally, the ‘stigma’ attached to both online dating, and the sharing of personal data online generally via social media, has dropped dramatically in recent years, with Britons living increasingly more of their lives online. Attitudinal research among UK consumers reveals that two thirds of people (58%) would use online dating if they became single in the future.

This tells us that not only is online dating becoming normal, it is becoming accepted, and it is on its way to being the way that couples form relationships. Dr Mariya Stoilova, researcher at relationship charity OnePlusOne said: ‘Online dating has become more culturally acceptable as a legitimate approach to finding a partner. While traditional dating relationships might take months to develop in the real world, online dating relationships unfold much faster.'

This may be true, but before you wholeheartedly agree, have a think about this particular scenario.

When you socialise with a new boyfriend, the inevitable question always comes up at around the ten minute mark: "So, how did you two meet?" In my case, cue an awkward glance at each other and a high pitched "umm?" from both of us, before finally, before the situation gets too awkward, one of us concedes to tell the story of how we met. "Actually, we met online, through a dating app."

The reaction is always quite similar, a raise of the eyebrow covered up by a well timed "aaah", before the conversation is moved swiftly on to how our jobs are going etc. Despite today's statistics, the awkwardness is obvious, and the judgement palpable, whenever I discuss the beginnings of my current relationship.

The findings from The Future of Dating report aren't shocking, or particularly groundbreaking - if the internet is being increasingly used for shopping, socialising and banking, then why should dating not follow suit? Though the statistics indisputably suggest that online dating will indeed become the norm, how long will it take for people to lose that eyebrow raise and let go of those preconceptions of online dating?

New Year, New Sex

 I'm thrilled to introduce this article by We-Vibe UK's very own sexpert, Rachael McCoy. For further information on We-Vibe, take a look at their website: http://we-vibe.com/ 

It’s the new year and with every Monday being called ‘Blue Monday’ it’s no wonder we need something to cheer us up. So indulge with Rachael McCoy, We-Vibe’s sexpert and her cheeky sex tips. Put the logs on the fire, throw down a rug, grab a glass of champagne and put the spark back into your love life…

1. Start as you mean to go on! If you are settling for bad sex or no sex at all, now is the time to do something about it. Write down what you really want and make positive steps to achieve it. No one else can change your situation other than you.  

2. Learn something new. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are as a lover, you can always learn something new. Do a workshop, it doesn’t matter how experienced you are as a lover, you can always learn something new. Do a workshop, read a book, go online and do some research. Forums for women are a great place to get lots of honest opinions and advice from ‘real women’ about what women really want. *I hold Master Classes for men teaching them how to make a woman orgasm, how to avoid ‘drama’ in relationships and I teach sexual techniques that every man should know!  

3. Challenge yourself sexually. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try sexually? What is stopping you? The more honest you are and the more you challenge yourself sexually the more confident you will become.

4. Build your stamina. Not just to get a great body but so you can maintain a great, physical sex session. Women feel exactly the same about lazy men in bed as men do about women that just want to lie on their backs during sex. Set yourself a little ‘sex workout’ where you spend 10- 20 minutes a day trying to build strength so you can last in the bedroom.


5. Rein it in. Speaking of stamina, practice holding back your orgasm during masturbation. When you feel the sensation coming, stop and then build it up again. The longer and more often you do this the longer you will be able to last when you are having sex which will please your woman and make your orgasms far more intense.

6. Try a new sex toy. The most exciting sex toy for couples that was launched last year was the We-Vibe 4. It is a couples vibrator that sits inside the woman as you penetrate her giving you both extraordinary sensations during sex. It is a luxury vibrator that allows you to have intimate, hands free sex while it stimulates her clitoris, g-spot and your penis all at the same time!


7. Change your positions. It may sound obvious but it’s something that many people tend to forget. Remember, every single position that you explore will give you both a different sensation, penetration angle and depth. The We-Book of Delights gives you 15 positions to try with clear instructions for him and her. It also gives you tips on how to discuss sexual topics with your partner and some love games.

8. Touch and tease. When your woman is giving you oral sex remember to touch her body at the same time. This will give her some stimulation and include her more into the ‘act’ which will make her enjoy it more and probably make her want to do it for longer.

9. Pillow placement. For deeper penetration put a folded pillow under your partners bum when you are in missionary and on top. The angle of you penetrating her will feel far more intense for both of you and it will also make it easier for her to lift her legs higher for even deeper penetration. Doing this with a We-Vibe 4 is inserted will give her some great g-spot stimulation too.


10. Don’t feel inferior if you need a little extra help to give your woman a g-spot orgasm. Every woman is shaped differently and will need a different stimulation to give her this incredible experience. A toy like the We-Vibe 4 will really help with this during sex as the g-spot massager will be doing a lot of the work while you can focus on the penetration. Every time you penetrate her your penis will push against the vibrator forcing it to press and massage her g-spot making it much easier for both of you to achieve an incredible orgasm. 

Only Fools Rush In?

I'm in that joyous beginning part of a relationship, also known as, The Honeymoon Period.

We've been together a few months, and are doing the typical first stage couple stuff: we're going out for dinner dates, we're having wonderful sex, jumping on each other anytime we're in the same room, we're arranging mini-breaks, we're going to gigs and pretending to like each other's favourite bands, movies etc. It is perfect. Nearly.

Our relationship can only be described as a whirlwind. From our first date (Laced in Chelsea) we have seen each other practically every weekend, taken each other to every event, and become very much intertwined in each others lives. We've each met one another's best friends, we know each other's likes and dislikes, we've argued, we've made up and now it feels like the whirlwind is picking up speed.

Let me reiterate, it has been only a few months, but we've already discussed the 'L' word. No, not love - living together. I mean, we spend a lot of time together already, and it would make sense as we live pretty far, so I'm not too worried. He's broken down the fart boundary, (I remain perpetually clenching) made me watch football and taken the piss out of my ability to do anything with numbers, which makes me think... how much worse could it get? But I have never lived with a boy before, aren't they smelly and full of, you know, boy cooties?

His is the pink one.

What worries me the most is that I do not wear the trousers. This is the first relationship I've been in where I can't have my way all the time, but the scariest thing is... I kind of like it this way. Essentially what is making me think so hard, is that I am totally cool with it. I'd live with him tomorrow if he didn't live in the attic of a house share an hour up the M40. Then, dear friend of mine raised her eyebrows when I mentioned moving in together, saying only, "be careful - you don't know anyone until you live with them, Steffi."

What my dilemma breaks down to is this: how do you know if things are moving too fast?

Will washing vegetables ever be this joyful?

In the grand scheme of things, its not a big deal. I have this friend, a free spirited and beautiful lady, who got engaged a few weeks after being romantically involved with this guy. Of course everyone was shocked, and the phrase "well, that was fast," was thrown around once or twice - but now look at them. Living in California, permanently tanned and never happier. Another friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for 8 years, and they're not living together - and no one cares. But who is anyone else to judge how fast is too fast for another couple?

In reality, it boils down to this: you're moving too fast as soon as you second guess yourself. So no second guessing for me - head up, look forward and think about what an exciting year this could be.

My First Date(s)

Broken Home

My very first dating app experience is one that could have put me off dating forever, meaning this article would never have been written and, kids, if you're reading this, you may never have been born.

I walked into Costa and waved at a man who turned out not to be my date. Not a good start. Blushing, I went to order a coffee and that's when I saw him: A man, who looked vaguely like his picture, sitting in the corner drinking water and tapping the table with his fingers. I smiled and sat down as we got the awkward "how are yous" and "nice to meet yous" out the way.

"So, what do you do?" I asked.

"I work in petrol care. But, um, at the moment I'm looking after my brother. My dad's in prison you see, and my mum's off the rails so, I'm kind of like his dad at the moment."

The silence that followed was deafening until I hysterically tried to change the subject, moving from lasagne to dinosaurs with impressive speed. Not long after, I made my excuses and rushed back to work with, so I'm told, a look of horror on my face that didn't fade for the rest of the day.

Verdict: I was so terrified by this date that I deleted the app, swearing to myself that I would never go on a date again. But, true to my promise to you, dear reader, I downloaded a different app and powered through.

A Poor Man’s George Osborne

My first impression was that he looked like the Chancellor of the Exchequer, which was ironic considering he didn’t pay. Tall, broad and oh so public school, my second first date stood waiting for me outside Starbucks in a very swag suit. We said our hellos and went to buy coffee, and that's when I started sweating.

For no reason other than the Gods wanted to play a cruel joke on me, it was suddenly really hot and I could feel myself burning up. Luckily, he started talking about himself (I got the feeling he enjoyed that topic) about his personal training, his new business and his super king size bed. I started fanning myself down with my hands, not, I assure you, as a reaction to his bed, and suggested we go for a walk along South Bank. After walking for a little while, we started walking back, which is when he discovered the 9 year age gap.

"No way, you look so much older!" He shouted at me, where the date abruptly ended.

Verdict: We had a lot in common and he seemed like quite a funny guy, but there was absolutely no chemistry. And he thought I looked like an old hag. After this date, I made the decision never to go on a sober first date ever, ever again.

Irish Irish Coffee

There's a first date with a drink, and then there's a first date with a drink and an Irish guy.

That morning I received a photo image of an adorably cute guy wrapped in a leopard print blanket, asleep. Written underneath was: “I’m never drinking again. Until tonight.” We had arranged to go for a cocktail after work, which he assured me he was still up for, so I waited for him outside the bar. He came over to me, and said, “I’m never drinking again. I mean apart from the cider I just had.” Then we walked down to the bar, got drinks and he said, “I’m never drinking again, apart from right now.” Seriously?! He really didn’t do much for the stereotype, I’ll tell you that.

We had one cocktail, then another, and he suggested grabbing some dinner. We wondered to a tapas restaurant, chatted for ages, and then he suggested another post dinner drink. We talked, we laughed, we flirted. And then he gave me "that" look. I swept my hair back and then - he didn't kiss me. As I walked to the station, I was confused more than anything. There was definitely a spark, so why no kiss?

Verdict: Even though he turned up half cut, he had the most glorious jaw-line I’ve ever seen so perhaps I should have taken the bull by the horns, as it were. My solution? More alcohol.

Laced in Chelsea

From chatting to this particular gentleman, it was clear that he was intelligent and cultured. He made reference to books that I pretended to read at school, bands I’ve never heard of and history I have no knowledge of. Considering I have a history degree, this was worrying. I was, therefore, incredibly intimidated when he suggested going to the Battersea Power Station for our first date – my industrial history is very rusty.

I had no reason to be intimidated. As the queue to the Power Station was too long, we went for a walk through Battersea Park to Chelsea where we talked about everything from broken bones to past relationships, managing to get through the entire park without a single awkward pause. Then we hit up the first of five pubs, and that was us done; by pub two we were best friends, by pub three we’d had our first kiss and by pub four we’d given all our change to a tramp and befriended three pissed Chelsea housewives.

Verdict: Despite the obvious breaking of the ‘don’t get drunk on the first date’ rule, this was hands down the most fun first date I've ever had. Shut up, I'm not blushing.

There's Chemistry

The first time I saw this guy, I was relieved. I had been wearing heels all day and the thought of walking around the Science Museum for their late night adult evening had me whimpering in pain. As he approached me, I took in his height and safely decided to switch my heels to flats. That’s not to say he wasn’t my type, but being 5’3”, height is rarely what I look for in a man. After becoming accustomed to his Northern accent, conversation flowed easily, and we spoke about our jobs, our families and our love for nerdy museum trips as we walked to the Science Museum. Despite being 25, he got IDed on the way in, which he managed to shrug off cooly. It must happen a lot.

The great thing about Science Museum lates is the booze. We shared some wine, laughed at the space toilet and wandered through the museum with that childlike excitement that only happens when you’re with someone you have a connection with. We passed on the silent disco and bitched about the DJ, walked past the tranny bingo and spent a long time chatting. We kissed at the end of the date, fuelled by much wine, a great date and the fuzzy happiness that comes with it.

Verdict: While we got on really well, there was no spark, but I nearly forgot about all that due to the location. Science Museum Lates happen on the last Wednesday of every month. What are you waiting for?

Hockey Jock

This is the first date that I was actually nervous about. Not because I was anxious about what he would think of me, but because he is a foot taller than me. I pulled my highest heels out of my bag and gulped. I would need to drink a lot to get through this shoe pain. And I did.

He met me after work, and I was immediately attracted to him. He was tall (luckily my heels were doing the job and he wasn't too tall) good looking, and very charming. After the first drink was out of the way, conversation flowed quite freely and it wasn't long until we were joking and laughing together as if this wasn't an awkward first date arranged on an app.

One drink turned into two and so on and so forth until we were getting out our phones looking for the nearest karaoke bar. Somewhere after our second kiss, reason slapped me in the face and I insisted we get the train home before this turned into a wild night of debauchery and I would have to turn up to work in yesterday's clothes. There was some pretty steamy kissing on public transport (sorry, London) and then we said our goodbyes.

Verdict: He was obviously a really fun guy, and it was a really fun date, but he seemed to bring out my immature and crazy side, which I'm not sure is a good thing.

British Transport Bore

Did you know that travelling to Wales actually takes less time than you thought it did? Neither did I, until my first date with an IT consultant. I actually work in IT (unexpected I know - we're not all middle-aged men) so I thought that if all else failed, we'd have something in common as we work in the same industry. I was wrong.

After 10 minutes trying to convince him that the company I work for is actually kind of a big deal in the IT space, he brought up his favourite topic: transport. Until this point he had come across shy, and a little unsure of himself, but as soon as he started talking about his family's different living locations, he was on a roll.

"So really, if you think about it, the train misses out the stops on the way, whereas on the motorway, you're reliant on traffic and various other factors: accidents, weather conditions etcetera. I mean, it could be raining, snowy, icy..." This was about the time I fell asleep with my eyes open.

Verdict: I feel bad because he did genuinely seem like a sweet guy, but just a tip to all you transport loving gentlemen out there: leave it out of the first date conversation.

Overall Verdict

Before using dating apps, I was convinced that dating tools weren’t for me. I was a firm believer in meeting someone the traditional way, getting to know them, then going on a date - if you both got on. But since I became single earlier this year, I’ve discovered that it is impossible to meet people the traditional way, because no one has the time.

Dating apps made me realise that dates aren’t hard to get, if you’re looking in the right places. You could have a date tonight if you wanted to. No, I’m not joking. And in an unintentional journey of self-discovery, I found that I actually enjoy dating, despite the crazies that encouraged me to get me to a nunnery.

It’s no overemphasis when I say that dating apps have opened up a whole new world when it comes to modern dating. It is hardly the “jungle” that Bridget Jones frets about any more. Of course, with new styles of dating come new dating problems… but that’s for another article, don’t you think?

Appy Dating

There is still a stigma around online dating, whether we like it or not. Words like "desperate" and "lazy" swim to the forefront of our minds as we imagine overweight 30-somethings sitting alone eating Doritos with their computers on their laps, continually clicking refresh on their online dating profile.

Nowadays, however, it's not so much online dating that has taken in the 20-something generation, it is dating apps. Not only are they less intrusive than online dating which requires a bio, photos, likes and dislikes, blood type etc., apps are far easier and quicker to use - "One swipe and you're done!". Hence the appeal to a 22 year old who barely has time for the gym, let alone finding a suitable man to go to Christmas markets with.

Let this not fool you into thinking that dating apps are by any means "safe" or "normal". In fact, the easier they are to download, the more likely you are to find absolute idiots on them. Let's be honest here, 90% of the people on dating apps are certified freaks. And even the ones that seem normal enough to go on a date with may reveal a hidden past that will have you running for the last train faster than you can say, "Thanks for dinner."

This is not today that successful relationships cannot be founded through dating apps. In fact, I know a lovely couple that met through an app, and who are properly in love. To be fair, it is just the one couple. For most of my friends, online dating is a tool used for quick and easy dates that may or may not end up in the bedroom. You can imagine one of my friend’s horror therefore when she secured a date in under 15 minutes, only to find that later that evening he had a particularly, ahem, soft touch.

If you’ve read this blog before, you will know that I am nothing if not thorough when it comes to researching the topics that I choose to write about. Bearing this in mind, I thought the only fair way to get a true sense of dating via an app, would be to download a couple myself. Please see my findings below.

Exhibit A: Overshare Extraordinarre

Exhibit B: When a person lives up to their name

Exhibit C: Undiluted Crazy

Exhibit D: People still use chat up lines, apparently.

From Exhibit A through to Exhibit D, you can see that there is a certain kind of man that is attracted to the realms of dating apps. The screen shots I’ve included are not the worst things that people have said to me, merely the funniest. A common trend on dating apps is this phrase: “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Well, neither am I, I’m doing this for a social experiment, but I won’t just come out and tell a stranger that on an app. Generally men on dating apps can be put into two camps: in it to win it or ego boost. The first type of man will go on a date with you to see if there is potential for getting lucky. The second type of man will flirt his little butt off but will never ever ask you out.

So, would I recommend dating apps? Generally, they’re a bit of fun, but in order to really dive deep into whether apps are the modern dating tool, I guess I’m going to have to get out there and go on some dates. Shall we say seven? Wish me luck!